People Who Repeat the Same Words Over and Over Again
Accept y'all ever wondered why people go on repeating the same matter in conversations over and over? If you're anything like me, yous can't ignore the content of conversations considering you lot know that language can exist a window to the mind.
People repeat what they say for a number of reasons in a variety of contexts. I'm only concerned here with those instances where what they say over and over tin provide clues to their psychological makeup.
First off, I want to exist articulate as to what specific instances I'm talking about. I'm non talking well-nigh instances where a person repeats something in a conversation considering they feel they've non been heard- a person repeating their bespeak in a debate, for example.
I'm besides non talking about instances where it's obvious why the person is repeating themselves. An instance would exist a child repeatedly asking for candy when her mother conspicuously has no intention of giving ane.
The incidences I'm talking about are the ones where you detect that someone tells others the aforementioned affair that they've told you. It'southward usually a story of an incident that happened to them.
Now my question is: Why would they, of all topics, keep saying the same thing to the people they encounter?
Before nosotros delve into the possible reasons, I'd like to narrate an incident from my own life:
I and a few classmates were working on a group project in the last semester of my undergrad. We had two assessments for the project work- modest and major. During the minor assessment, our professor pointed out a shortcoming in our project work.
It's natural to feel bad (no affair how slightly) when you lot experience something similar this. But what I noticed was that not all of united states of america in the group were affected in the aforementioned way by that remark.
While most of us forgot nigh information technology soon after, in that location was this one girl in our group who was clearly more affected by it than the rest of us. How do I know that?
Well, afterwards that incident she kept repeating what the professor had said to virtually everyone she talked to, at least in my presence. So much so that she even pointed information technology out in our major assessment despite my warning of not revealing anything that may undermine our cess.
This intrigued and frustrated me. I confronted her and said, rather angrily, "Why do you keep mentioning it to everyone? Why is information technology such a big deal to you lot?"
She didn't have an answer. She barbarous silent. Since then, I've noticed many people, including myself, engage in the exact same behaviour.
The heed is ever trying to make sense of things
If someone tells you that your friend died in an blow and gives you a detailed description of what happened, you're unlikely to ask any more than questions. You may immediately slip into a state of shock, disbelief, or even sadness.
Consider what would happen if they only told that you that your friend died without telling you why or how. You lot'd desperately enquire the aforementioned questions over and over till your heed makes sense of the incident (with the assist of relevant answers).
This example is pretty straightforward where you're repeatedly asking questions to become answers. Simply why would someone echo something that is not necessarily a question?
Once again, the respond is the aforementioned. Their heed is trying to make sense of what happened. The issue is unresolved in their mind. By repeating the aforementioned thing over and over, they want to resolve information technology and do away with information technology.
Many things that we encounter on a daily basis get easily resolved (I cruel because I slipped, he laughed because I said something funny, etc.). But some things are non so easily resolved and leave deep impressions on us.
Consequently, our minds become stuck in this loop of trying to make sense of them because they haven't made full sense to the states nevertheless.
Past traumas and repeating the aforementioned things
A person who has had a traumatic experience in the by may keep interim out these traumas in their dreams. Only by talking near the trauma repeatedly, trying to make sense of information technology, tin can they hope to end these dreams.
When we hear the discussion trauma nosotros tend to think of some major unfortunate incident. But trauma also comes in other, minor forms. That remark our professor made was traumatic for the girl who went on to tell everyone almost information technology.
When people go shut to each other in relationships, they oft talk about their bad past and babyhood experiences. They may not overly limited how those experiences traumatized them. They may attempt to portray the instances equally entertaining or interesting. But the fact that they're repeating these stories is a stiff indication of trauma.
Next time your friend says, "Have I told you this before?" say "No" even if they have, but to get a better understanding of their psychology.
Justifying yourself and repeating the same things
Oft, the bad experiences a person is trying to brand sense of, past talking about them repeatedly, involve self-blame. On a deep level, the person thinks that they're somehow responsible for what happened to them. Or at least, they had a function in it or could have avoided it somehow.
Then when they are telling their story it'south likely that they'll try to justify themselves. In doing so, they may even distort the story and narrate it in such a way that clears them of whatever blame and showcases them every bit victims.
Why do they exercise this?
We're ever trying to projection a adept image of ourselves to our fellow humans, specially those who matter to us. If there's something in our recent or distant past that has the potential to dethrone our image, we make sure that they know we're not to blame.
This paradoxical situation of kickoff blaming oneself and so trying to vindicate oneself usually happens on an unconscious level. So it'due south no wonder that people proceed repeating this behaviour without stopping to self-reverberate.
It's important to remember that these instances that people repeatedly talk almost may not necessarily exist traumatic. It could be annihilation they haven't however made full sense of.
When that daughter in our project group repeated the professor'southward remark, it didn't traumatize me just information technology left an impression still. At the fourth dimension, I wasn't able to make sense of it.
Therefore, my listen kept replaying the incident over and over and I might also have told the same story to others over and over but I didn't.
Lucky for them, I'm oft self-reflective enough not to engage in behaviours that may reveal my psychology. So I spared them the boredom. I've finally told the story and attempted to make sense of it via this article.
Hi, I'm Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and author of PsychMechanics. I've published ane volume and authored 400+ manufactures on this blog (started in 2014) that have garnered over iv.5 million views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Reader'due south Digest, and Entrepreneur. Feel free to contact me if y'all accept a query.
Source: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-keep-repeating-same-thing/
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